All Art, like all Love, has its roots in Heartache.
Solitude
Laugh, and the world laughs with you;
Weep, and you weep alone.
For the sad old earth must borrow it's mirth,
But has trouble enough of its own.
Sing, and the hills will answer;
Sigh, it is lost on the air.
The echoes bound to a joyful sound,
But shrink from voicing care.
Rejoice, and men will seek you;
Grieve, and they turn and go.
They want full measure of all your pleasure,
But they do not need your woe.
Be glad, and your friends are many;
Be sad, and you lose them all.
There are none to decline your nectared wine,
But alone you must drink life's gall.
Feast, and your halls are crowded;
Fast, and the world goes by.
Succeed and give, and it helps you live,
But no man can help you die.
There is room in the halls of pleasure
For a long and lordly train,
But one by one we must all file on
Through the narrow aisles of pain.
Okay its been ages since i wrote prose, and i was forced to write this for a competition entitled 'Inspiration'. Yeah well please comment, help me detect spelling errors, typos, and poor grammer (my english is damn lousy, you see- yes weirong this is for u). Oh yeah and please tell me if i should include the last paragraph, because i am unsure if it will make the story better, or if i should exclude the last paragraph. Constructive comments appreciated. Please tag to comment(if u haven figured out yet). Presenting: Inspiration
Btw, also insight into my life; emo kiddo
Inspiration
He was inspired. Lying on his bed in his hotel room in New York City, he was listening to the radio, brooding over his life, when he came over this song. The song struck a chord with his heart, and he felt an unfathomable urge to act upon the lyrics of the song.
'Sick and tired of this world, theres no more air.Tripping over myself, going nowhere,waiting, suffocating and i took a dive' sang the radio.He smiled as he placed a foot onto the ledge of the balcony, feeling the warm night wind ruffling his hair. Gazing into the night sky, he saw thousands of stars illuminating the heavens. Looking down, he saw a similar scene mirriored in the dark city- spots of lights beautifying the landscape. Peering into his heart, however, he could not detect a vestige if light- all he saw was darkness, the lights of his life swallowed by a yawning black void of nothingness. Feeling a rush of adrenaline, he placed his other feet onto the wall, and balanced himself percariously over the verandah. It made him feel alive, placing his life in danger. He resisted the temptation to take the dive- the dive that would put an end to all his sorrows.
It would avail little to her anyway, his girlfriend of four years, who had just broken up with him over the telephone. The light of his life, his inspiration, his love, his Amy, had just left him. Here he was, in a foreign land, due to return home to his love, whom he had to leave after recieving an overseas scholarhip, only to discover on the eve of his return, that her heart had been bequethed to another man. To add insult to the injury, the man who had stolen his love was none other than Freddie Yap, his childhood rival.
Freddie had played second fiddle to him since as long as he could remember; They were ten- he would always be the top his class in tests while Freddie had to be content with the second position. They were fourteen- they contested against each other in the schol sports meet, with him emerging as victor.They were sixteen- he was elected president of the school's student council, while Freddie became the vice president. They both applied for a prestigious scholarship upon graduation from their junior college, and he was selected for the scholarship, not Freddie. He had thought it was the perfect coup de grace then, the ideal way to end the many years of rivalary. To cap it off, he had successfully persuaded Amy to be his girlfriend; Amy, for whom both he and Freddie had nursed a soft spot for. Ironically, at the climax of his life, his graduation from Harvard as valedictorian, she had left him for a man who had played second fiddle to him for all his life.
He felt betrayed, broken. In his mind, he could see all his hopes and dreams, his plans for the future with Amy at his side, fall into flames. He could see Amy's face clearly; the dark innocent eyes, long black hair. Her face fell into the flames ravaging his hopes and dreams- he wanted to forget her, to eradicate her from his mind forever. And Freddie, he could feel his blood boil at the thought of Freddie- he watch in his mind as Freddie too, fell into the scorching flames, twisting in agony. Let Freddie burn! The pain he could imagine Freddie feeling was nothing compared to the pain Freddie had imposed on him by stealing his girlfriend. And out of the flames rose an urge to do something reckless- to prove himself worthy of her, to prove that it was her loss to give him up. All this he thought as he stood on the ledge of the balcony.
'On the way down, i saw you, and you save me from my self. I wont't forget the way you loved me', sang the radio. He smiled a bitter smile- who would save him if he fell now? He could picture her guilt, Freddie's guilt, should he lose his footing now.
He shifted into a seating position, still perched on the ledge of the balcony. He carried the radio on his lap, indulging himself in songs of love, trying to drown his sorrows.
For how long he sat in that position, he had no idea. It could have been minutes or many hours, but he would have sat there longer if the lyrics of another song had not caught his attention. 'Join us in this land where there is no more pain, no more tears, in this land of joy, this land of eternal beauty'. He look up into the night skies and saw a starlit land of eternal beauty. The soft wind brushed gently into his face, as though encouraging him, pushing him,into the nothingness beyond the balcony.
'Come join us, this land of joy' sang the radio.
'Come join us, this land where there is no more pain', he sang softly to himself,' no more pain...'
'A land of eternal beauty, where there is no more pain..'
He tilted his body forward, and felt himself plunge into nothingness. He could see the starlit skies, he was falling spread eagle, with his face to the heavens. The fall seemed an eternity. His life ran through his mind even as he fell- he could remember the first time he rode a bicycle, the results of his first test, the feeling of elation as he won a scholarship. He could recall clearly his friends faces, all of whom were eagerly awaiting his return to Singapore. He could see his parents proud faces when he was declared valedictorian. He could picture all these scenes in his mind, and he found himself regretting taking the dive. It was a bittersweet feeling- having found the beauty of life, but will have no chances of enjoying it.
The heavens shone gloriously above him, even as he felt the wind rushing past him. He wanted to gaze into the skies with another person, share this beauty with another woman! He wanted to live! He could feel a fire buring within him, the same fire that burnt his hopes and dreams, the same fire that he had pictured ravaging Freddie, the fire that he had used to set flames to his memories Amy. This flames reignited his desire to live. For the second time that night, he was inspired. The first time, it was a want to die; the second, a desire for life, but it was too late for such reflections now. Damn! He wanted to live! He felt tears brimming in his eyes, blurring his vision, distortion the heavens above him, making the light of the stars glaring, and he shut his eye, tears streaming down his face, as he awaited the mantle of eternal sleep to fall upon him.
The Singapore Times 21 july 1995
The Singaporean prodigy John Goh, President scholar and top in his year at Havard law faculty, commited sucuide from his room by plunging 40 stories to his death. Family have declined comment on what they think might have led Mr Goh to commited sucuide. His friends Amy Ang and Freddie Yap noted that he was an emotional man, but they were shocked that he would take his life. In an interview with them, Amy, in the arms of Freedie, said between sobs, 'I simply can't understand what drove John to his death. He was an inspired young man.'
posted @ 12:33 AM
